


Hiro's Love Services

by QueenofAlamoBeerandPropane



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Comedy, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Hiro becomes a love doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 06:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18463583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofAlamoBeerandPropane/pseuds/QueenofAlamoBeerandPropane
Summary: Hiro is in debt. Hiro needs a way out. Hiro notices how two of the gangsters that are after him are obviously in love with each other. Hiro has a plan.





	Hiro's Love Services

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think about this!!

  
  


When the son of the yakuza and his bodyguard entered through the academy doors Hiro knew he was fucked. The only reason why he entered this academy was to try to  _ escape _ these people, but here they are acting as new students when in reality they were here to get back their money through his organs.

 

He couldn’t confide in anyone about this revelation, Taka would try and mediate a meeting between him and the two gangsters, Byakuya would laugh at him and then go out of his way to get their attention, and he wasn’t sure about Naegi. But right now he couldn’t trust anyone except for himself and the energies he is feeling.

 

But the good thing is that he can certainly feel the tension between the two gangsters, it was probably palpable enough to where anyone without psychic powers could feel it, which made it all the more surprising to the wild hair man that the two radiating the auras of the lovers was oblivious to them.

 

So that lead him to this point, hiding in the bush watching the two with a pair of binoculars. A rare idea was forming in his head while watching the two from a bush, what if he used his services to get the two together and then they’d wipe away the debts. 

 

“Peko, do feel like someone is watching us?” Hiro’s eyes widen as the silver-haired woman got up and pulled out her sword before nodding.

 

“Master, I will take care of it right now.” Hiro’s body starts to quake with fear. “Then we can resume our lunch.” He has to act now or else he is dead and all that retirement money is going to waste.  Quickly, he slides out of the bush and struts to the two with his best nonchalant face, which wasn’t any good but it wasn’t like he was the ultimate actor anything. 

 

“What the fuck?!” The baby faced boy’s eyes widen as he looks at him. “Why is there a fucking birds nest in  your hair and what the fuck are you doing?” Hiro reaches up and gets a small peck of the family that has decided to nest in his head. 

 

“I’ve felt things from you!!! You need a reading now!” He reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out his tarot card deck. Before any of them could protest Hiro flops to the ground and starts shuffling his deck while getting some candles lit. “I am the….. Ultimate fortune teller! Y-Rihanna Yamada. My mom was a foreigner before any of you ask and I wish to tell you two your fortunes for free! No charge. This one is on the house. It hurt Hiro’s very soul to say those very words. “Now each of you draws at least three cards.” He spreads out the cards to the two currently confused teens. 

 

“What the fuck? Get awa-” He stops after catching the silver-haired girl grabbing a card before handing it to Hiro. “Fine.” He says as he pulls three cards sitting next to each other. “But get the fuck out of my face after this okay?” Hiro could only nod as he spread the six cards in front of the two. With a gentle touch, he flips over one to reveal the lovers. Another revealed… the lovers. The third was the lovers and so was the fifth and the sixth.

 

“I...I don’t even have this many lover cards.” He looks up and stares at the two with wide eyes genuine confusion gracing his face. “I… these are all the lover cards! How?!” Fear slowly started to take hold of him as he hurriedly gathered the cards before shoving them in his pocket. There was a spirit here, a malicious one at that, or worse aliens. Without taking another look at the two teens he bolted away causing the bird in his head to jump out in fear, only to follow him screaming angrily

  
  


**|(=__=)|**

 

. 

 

The eggs have hatched in Hiro’s hair and he was now a proud mother… in a way. The mother and father bird were still mad at him for hurrying off and effectively stealing their children, but that has only happened like three times after the first incident, so they had no reason to get that mad. And besides, he did provide them with an ample amount of birdseed. So everything should be balanced out between the two. Even if it wasn’t he could care less right now. 

 

Outside the pantry cabinet was the Ultimate Chef Teruteru hard at work making his classmate, the Peko, a birthday cake. But if everything went according to plan then Hiro will be adding a surprise of his own. Originally he was going to get the Ultimate Alchemist to make a love potion with the two’s…. DNA, but their price was outrageous. So Hiro decided to try his own hand at making a love potion. Now all he had to do was wait until one of his clients bust i-

 

“Yasuhiro Hagakure!” A young girl, he thinks is a reserve core student busts in through the kitchen doors. “I know you’re fucking in here and I want my money back!” She stops and looks at Teruteru, whose eyes were glued onto the girl’s breasts. “Have you seen a guy with a bird’s nest in his head. He… he tried to tell my fortune but I stopped him after he pulled out a card and said ‘This girl has a lion…. Uhh, I’d keep an eye out on her.’ and now I want my money back.”

 

“Well no, darling. I hate to say that no one has come into my kitchen beside you. Now tell me, my lovely angel,  what brings you here in my love kitchen.” Slowly the chef starts advancing to the girl which in turn causes the girl to start to back out. After a few steps, the two are outside letting Hiro roll out of the frankly cramped pantry and to the cake mix. He pulls out a salt shaker filled with, something. He wasn’t even sure what it was but he blessed like fifty times with essential oils so it has to work. A few sprinkles and a quick stir, Hiro quickly bolts out through the other door and dives underneath a table. 

 

Of course with his luck that is the very table that Peko and Fuyuhiko decide to take. Hiro tenses as he tries to make himself more and more like the support pole he is leaning against and listens to the twos conversations.

 

“So, Peko.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I was thinking about what Rhianna said and well you know I don’t believe in that crap, as my little sister does. Well, I was wondering do you think that it means something. Like anything.”

 

“Well. I haven’t had much time to ponder that day ever since your sister is convinced that the person her scammed her resides in this very school. But what do you think young master?”

 

“Don’t listen to her. It was her own fucking fault that she spent all her money on some hack.” The boy pauses before letting out a small groan. “I… just… keep on doing whatever it is she has you doing. But uhh. Well…” Hiro’s hand slowly moved away from the blond’s black shoe and slowly raises up to the bird’s nest. They were terrified, just like him.

 

“Ah ha! Hello you two! It is now time to celebrate the mysterious woman’s birthday!” Hiro could barely see the feet of the ultimate chef as the white table cloth reached all the way to the floor. “Hmm, the table seems to be higher than when I last remembered it. Did any of you put a book at the base or?” Hiro’s heart shoots off going a thousand miles an hour. This is it. This is how he is going to die. In a room with a birthday cake that isn’t even his. “Ah, well nevermind that. Enjoy your cake!”

 

“Thank you Hanamura.” Her voice is quiet and for an agonizing eternity, all he hears is silverware clinking against porcelain. Then it hits her. A low grumble emits from her and her legs shoot together as a moan comes out. 

 

“Peko are you okay?”

 

“I…”

 

“This! This cannot be happening! I made sure that everything was the best quality. Hold on!” Another low grumble. “It’s been tampered with! That Hagakure guy must’ve been through the kitchen while I was out!”

 

“Hagakure? I… I think master that was the same one that harmed your sister.”

 

“What the fuck?!” The chair flies out causing the table cloth to fly up and temporarily reveal Hiro. His soul leaves his body and tries to transcend into Nirvana, but luckily the cloth gently lands down back in position letting his body and spirit to reunite. “I’m going to take Peko to Mikan you better get this fucking cake out of my sight before I…” A low moan emits from the girl as she slowly stands up. “Or else!” 

  
  


**/’’(+=+)/’’**

 

Now the babies have grown and all have left the nest besides one. He decided that he was keeping that one and naming it… well, he hadn’t gotten to that part. Currently, he was orchestrating a confession. He positions his binoculars to the water fountain as the swordswoman stands there holding the note he wrote while posing as the Ultimate Poet. Soon the gangster boy walks up with his arms crossed.

 

Now he couldn’t hear much of what they were saying but he could only assume that it was good since they ended up kissing. Then they stopped and they pointed in his general direction… he has been spotted. Quickly Hiro hops out of the tree and starts running while Peko chases after him all while making note of a new service he can offer clients.


End file.
